The Humvees Aint Comin Back For Us Dude

i havent written in a while . is it writers block ? i dont think . there is so much to write but i do not know where to start or how to even begin . i just keep living; just moving on . now it hit me. 

lately, ugly has been the best word to describe me. i go to a prodominantly white school. most of them are nice, but a lot of them are racist. not just against blacks. but just about any other race that is not theirs. you have seen photos of me . you know what i look like. and it definitely is not the "all american bombshell " i am usually pretty self confident and i usually do not let their opinions get into the way of my self image but lately i cant help but think about it. rude kids are constantly calling me ugly either behind my back or directly to my face. it may seem like i dont care but its really starting to get to me. i cant let this bring my self confidence down. so i dont have long blonde hair, blue eyes, and perfect milky white skin . but why the fuck should that define beauty ? who made those standards and why are you idiots sticking to them ? i just keep repeating to myself, " i cant let this bring me down ." and i pray to god it doesnt get to me. 

"Colonel, I can't see shit.  "